Today is Valentines Day. A special day in the calendar’s year set aside to celebrate love. I’m a lover of valentines day, how beautiful is it to set aside a day to celebrate love. Today is traditional full of hope in many hearts that they will receive a sign that they are loved. Sometimes though, we need to look internally and find love for ourselves, some self love, so that ultimately we can wholeheartedly love others.
In the past I have always looked to others to feel loved. To validate me as who I am. To make me happy. I’ve lived the path of “when x gives me a cuddle then I will feel loved” “when x has the time to spend with me then I will know I am important”…. I have waited. I have hoped. I have put my life on hold, waiting to feel important, waiting for someone else to meet my own needs. I have pushed my own needs, hopes, dreams aside because I was waiting for someone else to validate me as being worthy, as being loveable. By doing so, I brought upon myself so much pain and heartache. The person I was hoping to show me love, felt they could never meet my needs. And they couldn’t. Not because they are a bad person but ultimately because I didn’t love myself, respect or feel worthy in myself and because I didn’t feel it for myself nothing anyone could have done could make me feel these things. (Wow that was really hard to admit to myself but freeing at the same time.)
This lesson I am learning the hard way. Through heartache and pain, I am having to pick myself up, look internally and start seeing myself through loving eyes. It is a journey of exploring and discovering who I truely am. What do I enjoy doing. What lights a fire within me. What brings joy into my life. It’s a slow journey and that is ok. Instead of waiting for someone else to show up and make me fill loved, I am finding ways to fill up my own love cup. Have I got it all worked out – hell no! But I’m learning and to me that is the most important thing. Along the way I hope to to teach and inspire my beautiful daughters to do the same so that they can learn from me, what I believe is such an important lesson of life.
As busy people, and especially if you have kids, we find it hard to find the time meet our own needs. We often push our own needs aside to look after everyone else. We are exhausted and it feels like just one more thing we have to do. But ultimately if we don’t look after ourselves, if we don’t fill our own cups up then we feel burnt out and unable to find any happiness in life. We need to look after ourselves, show love, kindness, and compassion to ourselves to that we can show up for all those we love in life and enjoy all that life has to offer.
What does self love mean to me, what fills my cup up, here is just some of what I’ve discovered for myself that I hope might inspire you
A beautiful candlelit bath with epson salts and lavender oil
Being outside in the fresh air and just breathing, even if it’s just for a couple of minutes
Riding my bike
Walks on the Beach with my feet in the water
Swimming in the Ocean
Walking in the bush to find a beautiful waterfall
Moving my body
Preparing a beautiful yummy meal or treat
Reading a good book (Currently I’m reading Melissa Ambrosini’s Master your mean Girl and loving it)
Watching a romantic comedy movie
Enjoying a beautiful sunrise or sunset
Writing in my Journal
So today on Valentines days, I would love for you all to take some time today to show yourself some love. It might just be a couple of minutes and that’s ok. Do something today to fill up your cup. You are amazing and so worthy of all that your heart desires.
Would love to hear some of the ways that you show yourself some self love below, lets inspire each other to explore new ways of filling our self love cups up.
Happy Valentines Day my friends. xxx